Life--A Snap Shot

There are times when I feel the threads of my life are out of control. I get behind at work, the house, is a mess, and I am three weeks behind in school or something. Then I start to get depressed, overwhelmed, and feel unable to dig myself out of a hole, till sheer panic sets in, and I can usually use that energy to get going.

But that is not the case right now. So I want to document when I am feeling good, so I can see that there are actually times that things go well.

Work: Before I left for vacation, I managed to get everything done on my watch. It was the first time since I have had this job (seven years) that I could remember actually being caught up prior to vacation. Usually, I could get everything done that people might need while I was away, but I would be sitting on old files that no one knew about--that I would stuff into a drawer till I got back.

Generally, there are some nightmare files, that I cart around with me from place to place in the hopes I might figure them out or even get them done. Sometimes there are 3 or 4 nightmare files, and 15 busywork files that I am carrying, looking for time to just sit down and sift through them.

But sometime in June....I made myself get rid of the terrible files one by one. I sat down with all the files and sorted them into piles. The really easy ones I did first to have a sense of progress. I would make sure that any new work got done, but each day I would also attack old work. And I would try to get through at least one scary file a day. And before the week was done...I all the old work was finished. And it felt amazing. I left for vacation feeling that everything was taken care of. When I came back, there was a small pile of things that had come up while I was gone...but it didn't take long to deal with them.

So, since it felt so good to be caught up at work, I have kept that going since I have been back. For awhile, I joked that the only thing left to do was clean...and yesterday I even did that. My east side office got some new art and displays, and I dusted, vacuumed, and organized to get ready for that. This morning it was delightful to come into the "new" office, and have nothing to do for the first half hour but drink coffee and admire my environment. And when I left this afternoon, I was still caught up. Part of it is, that we are slower right now...but whatever, I am being very disciplined about doing things in the moment rather than tossing them into a pile for later. Work is a big part of my life, and for the moment it is not a stress because I AM CAUGHT UP! (of course this could change at any moment)

Home: I divide the house into three areas...Mine (my corner of the office and my bedroom), His (his corner of the office and his bedroom), and Ours (common areas, living room, bathroom, kitchen, hallways). So the house has been pretty dusty and disorganized lately. He and I have been really busy, and when that happens the house falls into disarray. We are definitely more Oscar than Felix, although I do have some Felix genes...(One way to really irritate me is to mess up an area right after I spent hours cleaning it.)

My office is my nerve center. I go to school online, so I spend a lot of time on the computer. I had organized my office right before I started school a year ago, and since then I have managed to have a pretty organized space here. Occasionally it gets out of control with mail and paper, but it is also the easiest to get back in shape.

My bedroom is where I tend to throw all my stuff to keep it out of the common areas. I also have all my belly dancing stuff in there as well as my books (ahem). It had been a major mess, but I didn't want to come home from vacation with it looking that way. There wasn't enough time to really clean the whole thing, but I made a decision to just get the parts you see looking nice. So instead of reorganizing drawers and the closet, I just stuffed clean clothes into drawers, and moved things into the closets or containers. I figure I can attack a drawer here and there, and do the closet on a Saturday, but for now, the room looks nice, even though there is a Fibber McGee closet to avoid. However, I wouldn't be embarrassed to show you the room if you happened to drop by.

Yesterday, I bought two floor lamps. I had an old ugly light by my bed that didn't work well as a reading light. And when our office air conditioning broke this week, and I needed to study in my room...I realized a needed a light over my chair as well. I found the chair in my room a really pleasant place to study...and the new light will make it a place I will be even if I am not forced there by oppressive heat in the office.

School: This is the big one....The Hell class last Spring about finished me off. I was exhausted and really sick of school by the time that class ended in March, and I had a lovely 12 week break till "Fall" classes started in June. I am in a very technical class, but it is a "go at your own place" type thing, so it was easy to pretend I wasn't really in school as weeks rolled by, and then I had vacation. Suddenly 5 weeks had gone by, and I had done virtually nothing. I knew I wouldn't really be able to study at Starwood (tried it last year)...So I went away, and knew I would have to kick ass once I got back. Well time does pass, and so did vacation.

I worked hard on an intense study schedule last week, and I am please to say I am only 1 week behind at this point. Unfortunately, this unit...requires I read a whole text book...I am giving my self the weekend to finish it, and will try Monday and Tuesday finish the next unit (this weeks), and then I will be back on track with school. I have my final scheduled for Sept 13th.

I will be very happy to get this class out of the way. I am actually looking forward to the next one which starts Sept 17th. It will be more clinical vs technical, and the instructor is one who is well loved by her students. I don't think that class has a final either just some big project. Yay for no final during the holiday season.

Relationship: When I freak out about my life, I usually don't add this category. I take it for granted that things are okay in my relationship. My relationship is the river bank that supports the flow of my life. My best friend is with me, and always there. We usually don't fight (although it happens) and for the most part we are on an even keel (unless we are irritating each other).

However, it is not wise to take your relationship for granted. I want to make more of an effort to make sure he doesn't feel that way. We were doing a date night once a week, which gave us at least one time a week to focus on us and connect. We haven't had one since vacation because he has been working an odd schedule and I have been a recluse do to school...but next week I am going to push for a date night.

Other stuff: Dancing has been put on hold. Classes are off for August, and my little group doesn't have any gigs till September. I need to practice or I will forget everything...but I am also just wanting to take a break from something that can become an obsession.

My sphere has not arrived, although the company has charged my checking account. I am still really excited to see how much it will take to become a contact juggler.

So that is where things are for now. I was actually happy at work today, feeling like things were going my way. Now that I am home, I am tired and not quite as enthusiastic, but it may have to do with my weekend date with a book called "Clinical Applications of the Auditory Brainstem Response". Anyone want to trade summer reading?