I was going to call him Mr. Rochester, but I think the tendency to paint my ex lovers as dark Gothic fictional characters is not healthy.  I am hardly a naive innocent girl any longer, and I needn't hand over my control to brooding depressed men no matter how attractive I might find them.

In my travels over the weekend,  I ran into an ex, who was one of my favorite lovers...for a variety of reasons.  I haven't had close contact with him in over ten years.  We ended when I moved to the Midwest and were both terrible at maintaining the relationship from a distance.  It was good to see him though, and we had a few long walks together in the woods of Indiana.  But my friend has been having a rough time of things lately.  He was once a powerful person in his world, but health issues and some other bad cards dealt by fate have taken a toll.  My memories were hard to reconcile with the person before me.  This person is hurt and very needy.  My heart ached with sadness, and I could feel my codependent urges to save him, or if not save...help bubble forth.

He wants to be in touch again, though he is not in a position to open a sexual relationship (which is good given the circumstances).  A part of me is worried if I even have the capacity to be a support for the magnitude of depression that my friend has and what precisely he wants from me.  I don't want to be in a relationship where there is not an exchange of energy....Though I don't think he wants that either.  We are going to try writing and see where we go...I feel a certain loyalty to people who have come close to me in an intimate way...If I can help him I want to.  For now, I will wait and see where he wants to go....and then decide if I can go there at all.