Is anyone out there? I know this poor journal has been neglected quite a bit. When things get really busy for me, I just don't have time or energy to throw up a post over here. Plus, some of issues that usually draw a post over here (poly, angst, poly-angst) just haven't been issues of late.
Life can be summed up in three words: Work, School, Dance. All else has fallen to the way side in the last few months.
I am now in class 7 of my program, and I guess I can say I am half way through. My boss is getting concerned that I will be leaving as soon as I get my shiny new credential. He called me out of the blue last night to assure me that I would get a significant raise when I had my doctorate. That's nice, I will need a raise to help pay off the student loan debt, but I can't see myself staying in this job more than a couple of more years, if even that long. I stay because it's low pressure while I am dealing with school, and I have been there long enough to have a nice vacation package...but I am bored and unchallenged. I have dreams of something better and more interesting. But, it's nice to be wanted. He bought me a new piece of equipment (it cost about 10 grand). Even though, in my mind, it's a crucial piece of equipment that we all should be using, the other two people seem content to just let me have it...I think they are crazy, and I am more than willing to share, but hey...whatever. I am fine with keeping it. I use it all the time.
I had a really tough final last Sunday. It was due at 9pm, and I slid it under the wire at 8:59. I still don't know how I did, or what the grade is for the class. I think I had a solid A going into the final, but...the final was almost half of our grade. If she curves I should be fine. I also did an extra credit project, which maybe will keep me near or at an A. I wish I didn't obsess on grades like I do...I have found, an A is the only thing that will move my GPA up. A B leaves it where it is. My new class is underway. It looks interesting, but it's being taught by a military guy. Not sure what to think about that. We have PBLs for assignments, which translates to Problem Based Learning (or Pain in the Ass Based Learning). The first one is an okay quiz, the second one is to assemble 30 power point slides or write a 2000 word paper. Pass the Excedrin.
I am hoping to be more social this quarter. There are at least a few people over here I would like to catch up with *wink*.
4 comments:
Tangerine, I am not very social tonight. I personally placed my mother's "box" in the ground today and I am in some mixture of grief, and......I don't really know what this is that I am feeling, but I know contact with others helps. It is great finding your post tonight.
We too have not been social lately and I have feared you might feel that was somehow a "hitch" in our new friendship. There is none.
swan and I talked at one point about having you over again for an evening (which would in and of itself be wonderful) but had wondered if perhaps (I know this likely sounds crazy... and please don'r be offended) we might do a flogging. We've seen you dance, and we wondered if that would ever be interesting to experience.
You know, only tonight could I write this. Write this off as post traumatic grief intensity.
Anyway life here too has been way intense and their has been no socialization. We'd love to have come more contact and the bizarre suggestion I made earlier is in now way a prerequisite.
It is great to see a post from you and to know you are well, 1/2 way through your program, and to know that you may have more potential social energy and time in the future.
All the best:)
Tom
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.
Raheretic....
Firstly, I feel for you on the issues around letting your mother go. Losing a parent is a of Rite of Passage, no matter what age you are when it happens. I was 31 when I lost my dad. I still have my mother, but it makes me get quivery to think of losing her too...It will take a long time to fully put your mother's death "away". --And I think you have to at least go through a year of all the first holidays without her. You won't be a basket case that whole time...but you will be prone to memories and things that make you really miss her. You may have issues around facing your own mortality as well. Losing a parent, or any one really, is not something you just "get over". I know you have an incredible support system, and that will ease things for you on the journey.
2) I would love to get together. I do think of all of you often. I have not perceived any rift among us. My head has been buried up in your favorite body part, and I have not seen anyone outside of my partner and my dance mates...School give me much on one level, and takes away on another.
We will be leaving for a very short jaunt down to Mexico on the 17th, and I have to have the homework handed in before I go, which means I have to do two units next week, the stupid power point presentation, plus get ready for the trip, dance a Friday night gig in Dayton...and celebrate my 42nd birthday! The following weekend I think I am also performing Fri and Sat. Regardless, I would love to at least get together with you guys for dinner to catch up. Maybe a weeknight?
The show on April 26th may be of interest to you. It's more of a burlesque/vaudeville themed thing, and definitely a change of style for me. There is at least one ass slap in our routine...M's group plays later that night too. I will give you more information on that if you are interested.
3) On your special offer. Hmmm. The Universe must have decided that my boring life as a student needs some spice. It comes on the heels of some other interesting offers this week.
I have never seen anything at the level of seriousness at which you and Swan play. I still can't wrap my head around the pain/pleasure aspect. I know that what you do, really seriously effing hurts...but she likes it. I would probably feel shy, but I am sure my trusty chianti would assist my role as audience.
Let's shoot for a catch up dinner soon, and figure the other thing out later. I am not freaked by your offer, and am usually up for "national geographic" experiences. :) See you soon?
I DO Powerpoint... If that helps. Can I be of assistance?
Woould like very much to see you both again...
Hugs, swan
M knows power point too, and since this is for a presentation that will never happen, the pressure is slightly off. Thank you for offering. I may call you if I get stuck! I need to lift graphs out of books to copy in those little pp squares.
So much to do this week...And my driver's license expires Thursday. And I am leaving the country a week later. ARGH!
Post a Comment