TV was nothing but a vast suckfest tonight. Miss Universe?? Give me a break. Some stupid show about K list celebs helping regular folks cope with divorce? I don't think so. Interviews with the Flavor of Love Women? Who watches this shit????
I was so turned off, I did the only thing I could. I turned off the TV.
The weekend was wonderful and blissful. We went to a Pagan festival near Bloomington, Indiana called Elf-Fest. The festival was held on a nature preserve called Lothlorian, which by the way is totally off the grid. They make their own electricity using solar power. Showers are heated either by solar or fire energy. They have composting toilets. They grow a lot of their own food, in short, these are nature people who walk their talk.
Festival attendees come from mostly the US Midwest, but occasionally as far away as Florida, and Canada. There are only 300-400 people, so it is a smaller more intimate place to hang out...versus say, a Starwood or Burning Man. And mead flows like honey there....Nirvana, truly.
I found myself being unusually extroverted for some reason. Some festivals, I hang out mostly in the tent sleeping, reading, or doing puzzles, but I really felt drawn to connect with people. There were some nice conversations around campfires, and some amazing drumming/dancing by the big bonfire.
You get caught up in conversations you don't hear in Mundania. There was a young 20 something couple who were in the process of planning their wedding. I was having a chat with a guy by our campfire about intentional communities, when the groom-to-be wandered in. He mentioned something about his wedding. I asked if he was getting married, or handfasted, and he replied they were getting married. The guy I was talking to (named Jason) said "I am just curious, but why did you choose getting married over some other type of commitment ceremony? Why get the government involved in it?" The young guy was caught off guard, and stammered..."well, to get health insurance and because I really love her!" Jason said, "Do you think people who have other commitment ceremonies don't really love their partners?"
The conversation didn't get pursued very far because of the young man's discomfort...but for me it was a breath of fresh air. I am usually on the end of defending my twelve year relationship in which we have chosen not to be married. "But why not marry???" people say. "You guys have already been together longer than many marriages, so you know it would work!" I hate this question. I usually tell people that the divorce rate among non married couples is zero percent. But a lot of people want more than that, and "we don't want to" is seen as being childish or something. I loved witnessing a conversation where the decision to marry was the thing being questioned.
Anyhow, now I am home, and trying to fight off post festival depression. I don't think I could ever give up the city and live in a slice of heaven off the grid...but this modern american 9-5 job/pay bills treadmill is getting old. Tomorrow--back to the Rat Race.
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I totally understand where you're coming from about not wanting to get married -- after my one experience with marriage, I don't plan on getting married again either.
People don't seem to understand that you can want to be with someone for the rest of your life, and not be compelled to marry them.
I think mostly people are insecure about their relationships, no matter what they may tell you, so they need their partner to be legally obligated to stay with them. They need the relationship to be a nightmare to get out of, because they're afraid that if it wasn't, their partner would just up and leave one day.
So kudos to you for being secure enough in your relationship to not need to be married =)
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