Brighten the Corner

Well, I passed that stinkin' class. I wound up with a C+. I was both happy and disappointed. So close to a B...but oh well. When I was fearing a D or F, a C looked great...but then I got my hopes up for a B. I mean I participated in every class, put myself out there, didn't lurk in the shadows like a lot of them...maybe that's what got me the "+". Well, it's over...It will feel good to register for my next class, when that is one that is offered again. I will feel sorry for the poor innocents who have no idea what they are in for. But I will not be among them...

But for some reason, my life has been in a total rut since early April. I have had time to declutter, get organized, switch winter out for summer clothes...but nothing has gotten done. I have been really tired, and have only accomplished some major slacking. Maybe that's okay after a big outlay of energy, but I am getting annoyed with myself now. I mean, come on.

When I am overwhelmed with tasks, clutter, and life...I usually try to start with one small corner, and for some reason, I usually start with my bed. Then I can sleep in a bed that was made with clean sheets and is orderly. If I sleep in a comfortable place, then maybe I get inspired to do some of the easy laundry on the floor...like towels. Then when I see laundry isn't so hard after all I can attack Clothes Mountain. But I couldn't even do that much....in three weeks. Nothing.

Well, okay...I have gotten some things done. I am in a big performance on May 5th. There have been rehearsals to learn the choreography, and get together with the musicians who are playing for us. And, my birthday was in there, we went away that weekend. And my partner's family was up over this past weekend...but there has been a lot of time that I could and should have done some things.

Then today, I got the idea, to start with my desk instead. When I am in class, my desk is pretty organized. I have the units I finished put away, and the current unit in a neat stack on my desk. My desk was covered with many stacks that I had used to study for the final. I knew they should be resorted into the units, and then put away in the big white school bin which stores things till I will need them in three years to study for the comprehensive final of my whole field.

It just seemed, in some sort of feng shui way, the energy of the class was still around me, depressing me, holding me back. So tonight, I attacked the piles of papers from that sucky class, sorted them, and put them away....

And when they were gone, I dove into the other desk clutter of mail, and threw away as much as I could. I put bills in a place where I will get to them later in the week. I swiffered, then spritzed the desk, and suddenly...one small corner of my life is back in control. I also went through my messenger bag, dumped out all the gum wrappers, scraps of paper, old receipts...anyhow...that is in good shape too.

So some how, something got done today. And tomorrow, I will start with my bed, and hopefully that will lead me to Clothes Mountain...And I can start pulling the threads of my life together.

And sometime this week, dammit, I need to get back to Weight Watchers, and face the scale. More about that area of my life later. For now...off to bed.