More Bitching and Discontent

Geez. I hope this isn't going to turn into a downer blog. Now, I am all past the school angst. I still don't know my grade, but the class experience is feeling farther away. I am pretty sure I at least passed the course.

I feel like I am just riding some ups and downs around here. It didn't help I had a migraine for two days. It finally packed it's bags and left yesterday afternoon. But I didn't get much done over the weekend. Not laundry, not decluttering the floor in my room, nor putting away/sorting the papers on my desk...And I seem to have misplaced my $80 spin skirt. The one I need for a major performance in a few weeks. Hopefully, I left it at the studio after last Thursday's rehearsal...but that I could have forgotten something so important is making me feel stupid. And it will hurt financially to have to replace it if it doesn't show up.

And then, on the workfront, some Dr. called me at work over the weekend and left a message with my boss. It is probably a job offer. But, what kind of idiot calls a place of employment like that out of the blue? He should have called the office as just "John", or had his administrative asst call and leave a message. Now my boss is suspecting something...and I had nothing to do with seeking this person out. I used to work for a friend of his, and that guy (who closed his practice) probably passed along my number. So my boss emails me a curt little email titled "Job Offer?" and signed it "whatever". Like that makes me feel wanted and cared about.

I emailed back, that he (my boss) shouldn't worry. I had no interest in working for this Dr, nor do I think we should go after him as a contract...And then my boss emails me back a "friendly" note how (paraphrased) people in my profession, particularly the ones who are pursuing the doctorate degree (oh, you mean like me?) are going to price themselves out of jobs, and techs will be hired to replace us at much lower salaries. Perhaps, but these techs still need to be supervised by people with my credentials. I do want to leave this job. But I need to get another couple of classes under my belt before I take off. He's making it easy for me to walk out the door, though. I know he likes me, and considers me a friend. He will probably see it as some form of betrayal if I go...but I have been there 7 years, and have been told my salary has topped out. I haven't had a raise in years...but my rent goes up, and other bills go up. ... Or maybe he does wants to drop my overpriced ass off the payroll and hire a tech. Who knows...either way, I feel a let down.

My partner is also having some depression issues. It's hard for me to see him down. We try to buoy one another up, but with me already feeling the downward tug, it's hard to boost him up. I just try to listen. To find humor if there is any....Tomorrow is another day, though...And I am grateful for that.